How to Interview Your Parents
Interviewing your parents isn't the same as having a conversation. When you interview someone, you're intentionally drawing out stories, guiding the discussion, and making sure the important things get said.
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How to Interview Your Parents
Interviewing your parents isn't the same as having a conversation. When you interview someone, you're intentionally drawing out stories, guiding the discussion, and making sure the important things get said.
But it also shouldn't feel like an interrogation. The best parent interviews feel natural—like a good conversation that happens to be recorded.
This guide covers everything you need to know: preparation, technique, follow-up questions, and how to handle the emotional moments that arise.
Before You Start
Know Your Goals
What do you want to capture? Some families want comprehensive life stories. Others want specific memories about grandparents. Some want practical information—recipes, family history, health history.
Knowing what you want helps you prepare the right questions.
Choose Your Method
In person offers the most intimacy and flexibility. You can see their expressions, share photos together, and respond to nonverbal cues.
Phone or video calls work well for long-distance families. They're familiar and comfortable for most people.
Professional tools like InkTree remove you from the equation entirely. An AI guide asks questions, and you receive the recorded stories. This works well when you want stories without being the interviewer.
For more on recording options, see our guide on how to record family stories.
Prepare (But Not Too Much)
Have questions ready, but don't script everything. The best stories often emerge from unexpected tangents. Bring a list of prompts, not a rigid interview schedule.
For question ideas, see our comprehensive list of questions to ask your parents.
Setting Up the Interview
Create Comfort
Physical comfort matters. Sit somewhere they feel at ease—their favorite chair, the kitchen table, wherever they're most relaxed.
Timing matters. Don't try to interview when they're tired, distracted, or stressed. Choose a time when they have energy and mental clarity.
Remove distractions. Turn off the TV. Put phones on silent. Create space for uninterrupted conversation.
Frame It Positively
Some parents resist being interviewed because it feels formal or makes them self-conscious. Frame it in a way that feels natural:
"I've been wanting to hear more about when you were young."
"I realized I don't know much about how you met Dad."
"I want to make sure we have your stories recorded for the grandkids."
Decide on Recording
Recording is essential—memory is imperfect, and you'll forget details. But some parents are uncomfortable being recorded. Address this upfront:
"I'd love to record this so I don't forget anything. Is that okay?"
"I want to capture your actual voice, not just notes."
"This is just for the family, not going anywhere public."
If they resist, start with just notes. Often, once they're comfortable, they'll agree to recording.
Interview Techniques
Start Easy
Begin with lighter topics: childhood memories, favorite foods, early friendships. These warm-up questions build comfort before moving to deeper subjects.
Good openers:
"What was your favorite thing to do as a kid?"
"What did your house look like growing up?"
"What games did you play with your friends?"
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Questions that can be answered with "yes" or "no" end conversations. Questions that invite stories keep them going.
Instead of: "Did you like school?" Ask: "What was school like for you?"
Instead of: "Were you close to your siblings?" Ask: "Tell me about your relationship with your siblings."
Listen More Than You Talk
Your job is to draw out stories, not to share your own opinions or experiences. Ask a question, then listen. Really listen. Resist the urge to fill silence.
Master the Follow-Up
The initial answer is rarely the full story. Follow-up questions go deeper:
"What happened next?"
"How did that make you feel?"
"Who else was there?"
"What did you learn from that?"
"Can you describe that in more detail?"
Follow-ups show you're genuinely interested and often unlock the richest material.
Embrace Silence
When someone finishes talking, don't immediately jump to the next question. Sometimes the most powerful additions come after a pause, when they think you're done listening but realize they have more to say.
Follow Tangents (Sometimes)
If they go off-topic but the tangent is interesting, let it run. You can always circle back. Some of the best stories emerge from unexpected detours.
But if they're wandering too far, gently guide back: "That's interesting—I want to hear more about that later. Going back to what you were saying about your first job..."
Handling Emotional Moments
Family interviews often surface emotions: grief, regret, joy, old wounds. This is normal and often means you're getting to the real stuff.
Don't Rush Past Emotions
If they get teary, don't immediately change the subject. Give them space. Sometimes a simple "Take your time" is all they need.
It's Okay Not to Push
If they clearly don't want to discuss something, respect that boundary. You can try again another time, or let it go.
Know When to Stop
If the conversation becomes too heavy, take a break. "Let's pause here and continue another time" is perfectly valid.
Debrief Afterward
After emotional interviews, don't just walk away. Spend time together doing something normal—have a cup of tea, look at old photos, talk about lighter topics.
Types of Questions to Prepare
The "Tell Me About" Questions
Tell me about your childhood home.
Tell me about how you met Mom/Dad.
Tell me about your first job.
The "What Was It Like" Questions
What was it like growing up in [city/era]?
What was it like when you first became a parent?
What was it like during [historical event]?
The "Specific Episode" Questions
What's the funniest thing that ever happened to you?
What's the hardest decision you ever made?
What moment are you most proud of?
For more specific prompts, see our guide on stories to ask your parents to tell.
The Wisdom Questions
What would you tell your younger self?
What's the most important thing you've learned?
What do you want your grandchildren to know about you?
After the Interview
Review Your Recording
Listen back and make notes about sections you want to revisit in future conversations.
Follow Up
"Last time you mentioned [X]—I'd love to hear more about that." This shows you were listening and often leads to richer follow-up stories.
Share Back
Let them hear or read parts of what you captured. Seeing their stories valued encourages more sharing.
Plan the Next Session
One interview is good. Regular conversations are better. The tenth session often reveals things that never came up in the first nine.
Common Challenges
"My Life Isn't Interesting"
Many parents don't think their lives are worth recording. Push back gently: "I find it fascinating" or "Your grandchildren will want to know this."
"I Don't Remember"
Memory is imperfect. Photos, music, and old objects can trigger memories. Try: "Let's look at some old photos and see what comes up."
Reluctance to Share
Some people are private. Start with lighter topics and build trust over time. Don't force deep conversations before they're ready.
Going Off on Tangents
If tangents are interesting, let them run. If not, gently redirect: "I want to hear more about that, but first..."
Let InkTree Do the Interviewing
Not everyone is comfortable interviewing their own parents. It can feel awkward, emotional, or hard to be objective.
InkTree offers an alternative: your parent receives scheduled phone calls from an AI guide who asks thoughtful questions. They simply talk, and the stories are recorded and transcribed for you.
This removes you from the interviewer role, which often leads to more candid, uninhibited storytelling. Many families use InkTree to capture stories they wouldn't have gotten themselves.
Start Recording Stories | Learn More